Personality Disorders
Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that impacts the way a woman feels and thinks about herself. Nearly 75% of people diagnosed with BPD are women. Even though men may be equally affected, they are more often diagnosed with PTSD or depression.
BPD typically first shows up in adolescence. Over 30% of adult BPD patients have reported that the onset of their self-injurious behavior was before the age of 13. Another 30% reported that this behavior started between the ages of 13 and 17.
Like all personality disorders, BPD exists on a continuum, from mild to severe. It does not have to be a life sentence. Studies have shown substantial remission in many people after 10 years, either on their own or through long-term therapy modalities. Learning ways to cope with emotional dysregulation in a therapeutic setting is often the key to long-term improvement.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The Greek god Narcissus was known for his beauty. He was so enamored of his own appearance that he spent much of his life gazing at his visage in a pool of water. He was contemptuous of those who loved him, causing some to end their own lives in an attempt to prove their devotion. His story is a cautionary tale about the catastrophic effects of excessive self-love. People with narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder display traits similar to those of Narcissus.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is excessive and chronic self-involvement that causes a person to ignore the needs of others. They have a heightened view of themselves while needing to be accepted and admired by those around them. Those with NPD tend to find positions of authority, leadership, and status. Their relationships with others are superficial, designed as a source of admiration rather than a channel for mutual intimacy.
Anti-Social Personality Disorder
Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD) is characterized by a pervasive disregard for others. People with ASPD often engage in deceitful and manipulative behaviors at the expense of others.
Aggression and unlawful activities are also common. A common misconception is that ASPD individuals don’t have friends. This is inaccurate, they tend to have many friends throughout their life and the name for the diagnoses comes from their disregard for societal norms.
People with ASPD often mistreat others and have little remorse or empathy for their actions. Anti-social personality disorder is treatable, but individuals are unlikely to seek treatment until they have already experienced serious consequences for their behavior.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder
Schizotypal personality disorder (STPD) is a mental health condition containing chronic and intense discomfort with relationships. People with STPD have unusual thoughts, speech, and behaviors. STPD keeps people from forming and maintaining stable relationships. This disorder comes with distorted views of reality, innacurate superstitions, and unusual behaviors. Relationships are very difficult for this disorder, both romantic and platonic.
Most people with STPD don’t see their thoughts or behaviors as problematic. Schizotypal people may react oddly in conversations, not respond to you, or talk to themselves. This personality disorder is different from others as it can later develop into schizophrenia if it is untreated. STPD occurs in approximately 3% of the general population and is more commonly diagnosed in males.
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Paranoid personality disorder (PPD) is a mental health condition marked by chronic distrust and suspicion of others. Researchers estimate that it affects 0.5% to 4.5% of the population. This disorder comes with severe distrust without any evidence to support the distrust. People with PPD often believe that others are trying to demean, harm, and/or threaten them. Most people with PPD don’t see their thoughts as problematic.
People with this disorder struggle having close relationships due to always believing others are trying to use or hurt them. They are reluctant to confide in others or reveal personal information due to a fear that the information will be used against them.
PPD differs from others paranoid disorders due to the lack of delusions or hallucinations. The disorder typically begins to show symptoms in a person’s late teenage years or early twenties.
Dependent Personality Disorder
Individuals with dependent personality disorder (DPD) have an excessive need to be taken care of by others. People typically describe this disorder as clingy, needy, or helpless. People with DPD struggle to make their own decisions due to lack of confidence and fear or making the wrong choice. Their fear of abandonment is strong and therefor a person with DPD typically underperforms in order to have others believe that they cannot do that task without the other person.
People with DPD have an inability to disagree with or argue with others unless they are feeling abandoned. When this disorder is feeling abandoned, the person typically acts irrational, violent, and childish. There is typically one person that the disorder attaches to but this person can change from one person to another easily.
Schizoid Personality Disorder
Schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is a condition in which people avoid social activities and interacting with others to a fault. People with this condition don't desire or enjoy close relationships with family, friends, or co-workers. People with this disorder are typically categorized as loners. They may be emotionally cold and detached due to their limited range of emotional expression.
STPD can begin as early as late childhood to early teenage years. It is typical for this disorder to exhibit little to no enjoyment out of activities, feeling like an "observer" in life, indifference to praise or criticism, and a relaxed or absent sex life. This disorder is not the same as social anxiety disorder due to the lack of social desire.
Avoidant Personality Disorder
People with avoidant personality disorder (APD) have a chronic pattern of social isolation and shyness. This disorder includes hypersensitivity to rejection, fear of criticism, and difficulty connecting to others. People with APD stay away from social situations in order to protect themselves from these symptoms. This disorder typically struggles in every relationship, school settings, and at the workplace.
People with APD want to have relationships with others but will rarely put effort into them. This disorder often misinterprets neutral comments or actions as negative ones due to paranoia of rejection. Someone with APD comes across as socially awkward, pessimistic, disengaged, and a loner. People with AVPD may even turn down a promotion, project, or gift due to not wanting the responsibility of them.
Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
Obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is often confused with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). These are two separate mental health disorders that have only a few similarities. OCPD is categorized as a persistent urge to maintain control and order of others and their environment.
Decision making may be painful to people with this disorder, particularly when there are no established rules to guide you. People with OCPD are overwhelmed with the fear of making a decision that others will disagree with. This disorder involves spending a lot of time checking rules, procedures, schedules, and control methods in order to rely on something to make a decision. These strategies allow the person to blame something else if they receive any feedback or critiques.
OCPD creates significant stress in one’s life due to anxiety and time wasted agonizing over menial tasks. Someone with this disorder would feel highly frustrated and upset if they are in a situation where they don’t have control and will strive to gain it back. This disorder is often referred to as perfectionism, controlling, drama starting, and finicky.
For the Families:
Having someone with an untreated personality disorder in a family can be overwhelming. Their emotions and behaviors are unpredictable and haphazard.
Loved ones tend to think they can help by rescuing people with personality disorders. This typically becomes overwhelming for those trying to help and proves to be unsuccessful. Eventually help by family members becomes a part of the problem and enables the unpredictability of the disorder. This only fuels helplessness and can lead to resentment on both sides.
People with personality disorders tend to create huge issues for themselves financially, legally, at work, in school, etc. Consequences are needed in order to recover from this disorder and family members who “help” these situations are elongating the recovery time. The hardest part about this cycle is that the helping behaviors are harmless and would be viewed as healthy behavior if a personality disorder wasn’t involved.
An important part of loving someone with a personality disorder is realizing that you cannot fix them. If you want to have a healthy and loving relationship for your family member, you must connect them with high-quality treatment options. Once you have a treatment team that is trained in this area, your family can start learning healthy ways to recover and heal.